Heal the Past
April 4, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Relationships
This is the third post (part 1, part 2) on how success and productivity can be stymied by emotional reactiveness.
“Our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure”. Rainier Maria Rilke
I was playing for my local soccer team one Sunday morning some years ago. During the game a few things had not gone our way, and I found myself blaming the referee for our shortcomings. As we were leaving the field I went over to the referee (who was only doing it as a favour) and abused him. Among the words I threw at him were “useless”, “incompetent”, “weak” and well, you don’t really want to know the rest. But, I’m sure you get the idea.
My Fault
Almost immediately after this outburst I felt a great deal of guilt and apologized profusely to him and the other players, but it was some years later when I recalled the incident that I applied the mirror to it. No surprises here, but it is a good snapshot of how I viewed myself at the time.
My failure was to not accept responsibility and understand that the result of the game was really in my hands and those of my teammates, not in his. My eagerness to pass judgment on him was really a way of blinding me to my own perceived faults.
One of the ways to heal the past is to follow this simple process:
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Locate or remember a time in your business, work or socially someone or something upset you
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Observe what it was about that person or situation that you did not like
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Write your thoughts down, i.e. he or she was selfish, arrogant, and ignorant and so on.
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Consider what it was about the situation that you were resisting.
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Go through each of the items you have written down one at a time, honestly look at yourself and see if any of them may apply to , now or in the past. You may see yourself as sometimes selfish for instance.
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As soon as you realise that the part of him or her you don’t like is exactly what you don’t like about that part of yourself, take another look. Do you still feel the same way? The simple act of acknowledging something you were not consciously aware of is part of the healing process.
Different Point of View
Looking at it now, this does not mean that I just changed the point of blame on to me so I could be even harder on myself.
It became an opportunity to understand myself better. After all, if my feelings towards him could suddenly disappear due to this realization, then maybe I could do the same for the feelings I had for myself.
It gave me hope.
If you see yourself in any of this and would like some help, give me a call on 0421 210 444 to arrange a Free, No Obligation 30 minute chat to see how we can work together.
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
Perseverance and Productivity
April 1, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Motivation, Productivity
Hi, I’ve often pondered on the tiny difference there can be between winning and losing, especially in sport. This video demonstrates in a very clear and motivating way how small differences can have a huge effect on outcomes.
If you want to get that little bit more from yourself, call James on
0421 210 444 NOW!
If the video doesn’t appear above, please click on the Post Title at the top to see it
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
Why We All Need A Coach
March 29, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Conditioning, Productivity
The one critical reason why we all need a coach is that sometimes our perception of a situation is skewed and one dimensional. We all could do with someone to assist us to obtain a more balanced perspective in life.
It can be like riding a tobbogan down a hill in the snow again and again. There are many ways to get to the bottom but if you keep going down the same path you’ll make deep tracks that make you go faster but seriously limit your ability to change direction.
You get comfortably stuck in a rut.
If that rut is your life then the tracks that cause your problems are your fears, beliefs and habits.
Counter-Productive Belief
For a long time I ran my business with the belief that I should really look after my customers.
“Nothing wrong with that” I hear you saying to yourself. Perfectly true. But it wasn’t until someone helped me see what I couldn’t. That yes, I was looking after my customers but I wasn’t looking after me. There was an awful lot I was doing at my expense while thinking I was doing the right thing.
I was unable to see both sides of the equation.
Once seen from this new perspective and acted upon, it made a huge difference in terms of profit and self confidence.
Sport and Life
Having a coach to help you with your goals, beliefs and to develop empowering habits really does make sense. How many top sports people do you know that don’t have a coach? I’m certainly not aware of any.
You are participating in the most important game of all, your life.
Make the most of it.
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
Negative Beliefs
March 23, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Relationships
Following on from my previous post, “Lightbulb Moment”, examining how success and productivity can be stymied by emotional reactivity.
“The highest form of maturity is self inquiry”. Martin Luther King Jr.
As I continued observing myself during and after times of stress and upset, it reconfirmed what I had learned already. All upsets were an opportunity to learn the truth about me.
Many people won’t look at themselves, maybe because they’re scared of what they may find out.
Angry Man
I worked with a man some years ago who was very angry – he seemed to carry a chip on his shoulder. His whole world view was based on the belief that nobody can be trusted; it’s every man for himself and that people will cheat you if they get a chance. As a result of this belief he attracted the sort of people who lived up to that expectation – very much a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The trouble was that he didn’t realise that when he used the words “nobody can be trusted” that that clearly included himself. He flatly
refused to consider that maybe his beliefs were the cause of his misery.
Blaming others was and probably still is an easy way out for him.
Most of our problems arise from a resistance to “what is”. No amount of moaning and groaning is going to change what has happened, yet we persist.
“Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.” Thomas Szasz
Baseless Fear
The really sad part about stories like this is that the fear of what you might find out about yourself is greater can be greater than the pain you are actually in.
Ultimately this fear is baseless. What is scary is the fear itself.
These types of reactionary upsets can really stop you succeeding and reduce your productivity whether you are at work or not. But in another sense they are like gold and something to be grateful for because they present wonderful opportunities to gain self-acceptance and bring you more into the present.
I’ll cover a simple way of doing that in my next post.
If this resonates with you why not call me on 0421 210 444 for a short chat? You never know, it may change your life.
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
John Beeson – Jigsaw Geoscience
March 20, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Testimonials
John explains how he exceeded expectations with his productivity goals and what coaching did for him.
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
Lightbulb Moment
March 18, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Relationships
“Holding a grudge is like drinking poison then waiting for it to kill your enemy” Nelson Mandela
I took an instant dislike to a young man I had never seen before. It was quite unreasonable, and at first I never tried to understand it. I was refereeing indoor soccer, and as soon as he took to the court to play with his new team I started to give him a hard time. I couldn’t stand him, right from the start.
I picked on him mercilessly. I penalised him every opportunity I could for the slightest indiscretion and sent him off regularly. What I saw was a cocky, arrogant boy who cared for no one but himself. He was a good player who enjoyed being the centre of attention and who treated the opposition with contempt.
Every time I blew the whistle for some perceived violation I could actually see he was wondering, “What did I do wrong? What have I done to make him hate me like this? What is going on here? I’ve just come here to enjoy myself and I am being picked on.”
I could see that, and yet I kept up my unreasonable prejudice against him. I didn’t like myself much for it, but I felt powerless to stop it.
And then, one day, it hit me – right in the heart.
When I looked at him, I was seeing myself at his age.
I had not realised it, but his mannerisms, facial features, attitude and style of play were very similar to my own.
And I did not like what I saw. From that moment on I was never bothered by him again. In fact, I felt sorry for him.
That realisation started me thinking about my attitude and other upsets in my life. I began to reflect on other situations that may have reflected my own behaviour. I can now see that most upsets of a reactive or knee-jerk nature that I have are not about what I think they are.
They are about me.
Have you ever experienced this? Want to know how I overcame it and am a happier person because I did??
Click on the link below for more information or call me on 0421 210 444
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
Great Aussie Patios Mark Harrison
March 12, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Testimonials
Mark Harrison of Great Aussie Patios had lots to say during the middle of his program with James. Improvements in Sales, Time Management and Personal Health have made a big difference to him.
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James Bryden.
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
Productivity and The Brain
March 7, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Conditioning
See and hear James as he discusses the concept of “maps” in our brain that have a great influence on our behavior.
Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,
James Bryden.
James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…
“Fast Tracking YOUR SUCCESS… SuccessFULL Living!”
To Find Out the “5 Secrets of REALLY Successful People” go to…
P: 0421 210 444
Vittorio Natoli – Viva Life Photography
February 23, 2009 by coaching
Filed under Testimonials
Vittorio Natoli, one of Australia’s top photographers with numerous awards explains how a change in perspective has him aiming for at least 20 stores around Australia over the next couple of years.
Why have a Coach?
Why do I Need One?
Well, the answer is very simple. All we need to do to is look at any top flight sportsperson, they do not get to that level without having outside help, simply because a coach can help develop their fundamental skills, observe them in action, provide appropriate input, support, and accountability in what they are doing and encourage them to do the best that they possibly can with what they have.
In business it’s absolutely no different. In my own case, I know that I certainly went through most of my business career not achieving anywhere near what I could have done.
The common denominator in all this was me. And I suspect that this is a familiar story for many people, maybe even you.
The thing is, I knew there was a problem, but I didn’t know what it was. My level of thinking at the time did not allow me to see other possibilities and opportunities. Had I had a coach who could ask the right questions and help me get insights into the way I was behaving and to develop new ways of thinking and acting, I would probably have achieved far more than I did.
With the clients I have been working with so far, what they have achieved has been nothing short of amazing, and all this from just having somebody provide them with the right nutrients help to them to blossom, and the environment for them to grow to their full potential. So it really is very simple – Why wouldn’t you ask for help?