Lightbulb Moment

“Holding a grudge is like drinking poison then waiting for it to kill your enemy” Nelson Mandela

I took an instant dislike to a young man I had never seen before. It was quite unreasonable, and at first I never tried to understand it. I was refereeing indoor soccer, and as soon as he took to the court to play with his new team I started to give him a hard time. I couldn’t stand him, right from the start.

I picked on him mercilessly. I penalised him every opportunity I could for the slightest indiscretion and sent him off regularly. What I saw was a cocky, arrogant boy who cared for no one but himself. He was a good player who enjoyed being the centre of attention and who treated the opposition with contempt.

Every time I blew the whistle for some perceived violation I could actually see he was wondering, “What did I do wrong? What have I done to make him hate me like this? What is going on here? I’ve just come here to enjoy myself and I am being picked on.”
I could see that, and yet I kept up my unreasonable prejudice against him. I didn’t like myself much for it, but I felt powerless to stop it.

And then, one day, it hit me – right in the heart.

When I looked at him, I was seeing myself at his age.

I had not realised it, but his mannerisms, facial features, attitude and style of play were very similar to my own.

And I did not like what I saw. From that moment on I was never bothered by him again. In fact, I felt sorry for him.

That realisation started me thinking about my attitude and other upsets in my life. I began to reflect on other situations that may have reflected my own behaviour.  I can now see that most upsets of a reactive or knee-jerk nature that I have are not about what I think they are.

They are about me.

Have you ever experienced this? Want to know how I overcame it and am a happier person because I did??

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Committed to YOUR Personal Productivity,

James is a productivity coach specializing in working with people who are procrastinators and those who want results quickly. His ability to get brilliant results with his clients is quite amazing…

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